Today isn't really a good day. I can't seem to concentrate on work and my mind wanders when I'm listening to someone or looking at something.
I can't stop thinking about Friday night. I can't stop thinking about how you fucked your name out of my lungs, forcing me to scream your name like my life depended on it. 

Gawd! It was amazing!
Been a while I had dick that good.
Been a while I had someone turn up the volume to drown my voice and keep the neighbors from casting and binding delinquent youths.
Been a while I got my fundament spanked like I was in a sadomasochist movie.

Bam! Bam! Bam! 
"Yes Daddy! Fuck me like you miss me! Yes! Oh yes! Uh-uh! Right there! Ooh Baby! FUCK ME!"

Dick so good my eyes were rolled back half the time while I was positioned like a big-sized boiled prawn with coochie juice dripping on the couch.

"Babe, are you ok?"

My colleague taps me on the shoulder. 


She's the third person to ask today.

"You've been looking lost all day. What's the matter?"

"I'm fine."

No. I'm not really fine.

I've got 99 problems and a dick is one.

How do I snap out of this now?

Option A: Get more dick
Option B: Get more dick
Option C: Get more dick

F U C K !

*Scrolling through Whatsapp chats, clicks on fourth name*

Hey. I miss you. When can we hook up?

Doping with bestie was nothing new to me. I knew she loved to smoke at night while we took a stroll around campus.
But one day was different. It was different because she wanted to smoke in the afternoon. She wanted us to seat and gist. We didn't go through our Puff-Puff-Pass routine. She puffed a few times and let me smoke the whole thing. She even let me keep the butt.
As I sat staring into space and laughing hysterically because I was incredibly buzzed and everything seemed funny, Bestie asked an unexpected question, "Who is Looney?" 
Now, I knew what she was up to. Maybe it was the weed, but my mind quickly raced through the events of the day; she had planned to get me high so I'll let the cat out of the bag.
I knew this day would come. 
I knew I couldn't tell her the truth.
Weed or no weed, I was going to lie to her. How could I tell her such a thing?
"Told you before now. He's my friend in Jand. We had a long distance relationship before I got into school. He's trying to get back with me."
We both knew I was lying. I didn't look at her face as I spoke. I kept drawing strokes on the sandy ground.
How could I tell my best friend that I was in love with her lover? That I had had sex with him?
It was the most complicated thing I had ever done in my life and I was very ashamed of it.
If you had asked me some months before, I'd have said this could never happen. 
What kind of betrayal is that? 
But you see, life can be hilarious because the devil is a fucking joker that loves to see us eat our words. 
Yes, it was the devil.
I saw how she looked at me. I knew she had read my messages and knew everything that was going on. Looney had called to tell me how she had called him to say she knew we were fucking and she was extremely disappointed. Yet she wanted to hear me say it. Admit that I was a terrible person. But the truth wasn't going to come out of my mouth. 
This mouth.
The one that taken all of Looney's cum the previous night and had screamed "fuck me harder" when my best friend wasn't around.
Please don't judge me.
It wasn't my fault. 
I was on my own when bestie started to bring him around.
I remember the first time I met him. Weeks before bestie brought him to my room. 
I dropped by my friend's room and met Looney with a girl downing a pink bottle of Nuvo. They both were slightly drunk and after a while they began touching and kissing. I was disgusted at their lack of discretion so much that I left earlier than I had planned.
Oomph. Awon akebaje oshi.
2 weeks later, bestie told me she was coming around with someone special. I was eager to see who it was, so I stayed glued to my window, only to see Mr. Looney the Cassanova driving her into my block.
Eh? This boy again?!
When they got into my room, I said a mirthless 'Hi' and called Bestie to a corner.
"This dude has a girlfriend o. Lowkey. Don't get too serious."
"We're not serious like that joor."
"Ah ok o. Sha don't act like I told you anything."
Honestly, I was just looking out for her. I had no feelings whatsoever for this idiot. I just wanted my girl to be safe and not fall for someone who would use and dump her.
Weeks went by and Mr. Looney and Bestie grew closer. Gradually, bestie kept saying positive things about him and so I had no choice but to like him. 
I recall a particular night when they came over to my room. The three of us were talking about something funny when NEPA took the light. About 7 minutes later, I started to hear them making out - the sound of saliva wetted locked lips, moans as a result of masculine hands in the right places... I thought it weird staying and listening to people making out. I got up and decided to take a stroll, maybe get chicken and chips on my way back.
As I strolled the length of campus, I asked myself when I would find a man that I could be so open with. I was just recovering from an intense break-up that had messed up my mind and I wasn't about to jump into another. 
I wanted something true, pure, real and longlasting, not one that would leave my crying for months and give me nightmares.
My thoughts were cut short by bestie's call. They were done and she wanted to hand me over the key.
More weeks went by and Bestie and Mr. Looney were official and I was the constant third party, thanks to my Dear friend.
When she was out of credit, she would call and send him text messages with my phone. When she left a missed call with my phone, he would call back and would leave a message for her because we didn't live together.
This arrangement was a little awkward for me but I was a down to earth person and I was honest hence I shook off hesitant feelings after a while.
Then one day, something unusual happened. 
Mr. Looney came over to see bestie, but lowkey, bestie had to see another guy that was on her case.
Guess who Bestie asked to keep Mr. Loomey's company?
Of course it was me. 
"Please help me keep his company. I won't be long, I promise."
Did I forget to mention that Bestie was a bad-ass two-timer sorry multiple-timer?
She had about 3 other boyfriends minus a long list of toasters and magas.
But what's my own?
Bestie was hot, young, fine girl with a massive ass and a lovely face. Who was I to spoil the market?
Back to keeping Mr. Loomey's company...
I had to deal with about 30 minutes of uncomfortable silence with Mr. Looney. We sat in his car and listened to the radio while we waited for Aunty Bestie. We talked and laughed briefly about absolutely random things a couple of times but we didn't dwell on any topic.
Then he asked the weirdest question:
"Do you think I have a chance with your friend?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. She seems like she's got a lot on her plate and I want to know if I'm wasting my time. Honestly, do you think I should ex it?
See me see trouble!
Wetin consine me for una matter???
I'm not one to lie so I said, "if you don't think this will work, just move on."
I figured my answer was diplomatic enough. 
He said ok and we went back to being random.
The following Sunday, another unusual thing happened.
Mr. Looney called me to ask where I was. It was about 10 a.m and I was still on my bed and didn't plan on going to church so I told him I was home."
Then he asked, "Are you alone?"
"Err yes"
"Ok. I'm coming."
I figured he was coming with Bestie so I didn't bother to call her to be sure.
He came right when I was about to have my shower, when all I had on was my short bulky towel that wouldn't wrap round me properly.
"Errm Hi. Can you give me a minute? Need to take my bath."
The fact that he was my friend's guy made me feel uneasy so I begged him to please stand outside after I had bathed so I could dress up.
When I was done, I let him in and he sat on the only chair in my room.
"This one that you came alone today, is everything ok?"
"I was on my way to church then I changed my mind and I thought I should come chill at yours. Got a lot on my mind and didn't want to stay myself."
"Wow. A whole me? Why didn't you call Aunty?"
"She pissed me off."
"What happened?"
"She was..."
Right then, live and direct, Bestie called me.
"Babes, how far?"
"I'm not sleeping over at yours today again jore. Mumc asked me to help her do somethings. I'll see you in class tomorrow morning. Please don't forget the photocopies I asked you to bring for me."
"Ok. Uncle is even here."
Mr. Looney began to gesticulate, shaking his right hand under his chin to mean "no, don't tell her I'm here".
"Who is Uncle?"
"I'll tell you later jore."
"Hmmm. You this naughty girl. Ok o."
She laughed and dropped the phone.
That was how it started.
That was the first lie that launched the movie I got myself into.
"Why did you ask me not to tell her you are here?"
"I don't want to speak to her now. I'll call her myself."
Football was on and he watched a little. I'm not a fan of football so while he watched, I picked up shirts to iron for the week.
As I ironed one of my corporate shirts, he asked me to pause and looked at the label of the shirt.
"Hmm. Hawes and Curtis."
"What's the big deal?"
"Premium quality. Statement cloths. Says a lot about you."
"Thank you." I smiled.
We got talking about a lot of things that day. We spoke about my past. We spoke about my ex, about how he had made so hateful of relationships, how he had made me cry. 
Looney was nicer than I thought. There was "guidance counsellor" thing about him that made it so easy for me to tell him anything.
At the end of that day, I felt like I had just made a very good friend.
I never told my friend about that Sunday and other days that Looney came by to keep my company. They still spoke and all but there were just more missed calls and I had more messages to pass across.
One day I asked Bestie because I was curious, "have you guys had sex?"
She said "no".
I knew she was lying. She lied a lot about the men she had slept with. Well, maybe because she didn't want me to figure out her body count but isn't there a rule that says you shouldn't lie to your bestie?
Anyway, Looney and I began texting. 
We began from "Hey. How did your day go?" then moved to "What you doing at the moment?"
The fact that we were sneaking around as friends made it more interesting. I was bored and looking for a getaway so it was all games to me.
But there was one problem.
Mr. Looney was developing the wrong feelings.
He called me to tell me this one particular evening.
"Can we see this evening? I have to discuss something really important with you."
"Is everything ok?
"Everything is fine. This evening?"
We planned to meet at a closed parking lot where no one would see us.
That evening was very somehow. Mr. Looney took about 40 seconds to gather his thoughts before opening his mouth.
"What I'm about to say may scare you but it's just what it is."
"I have been trying to hide behind this shade of friendship but it's not working. I like you very much and it's difficult to have to keep acting normal with you."
I was going to talk but he caught me off.
"Please don't say anything. Let me finish. I will be traveling to Abuja for a year but I don't want this to affect us. I want you. I want an us. You're so real. This is crazy but it is what it is. I really wish your friend didn't have to be in this equation but that's the case and we have to deal with it somehow. Please tell me you won't run away from me after this."
"Errrrm... Wow. This was the last thing I expected to hear today. Ever. Errrm. I can't do this. You know how close Bestie and I are. This is too much."
"Take your time. Think about it. By the way, you should put a lock on your phone. She reads all of your messages."
I laughed and said Ok.
I was truly sad that my new friend was leaving for a whole year but I couldn't wrap my head around him "wanting" me.
Yes, gisting with him was fun and therapeutic but becoming his girl? Abi, that was what he was implying?
Anyway, he traveled as he had said and communication between him and Bestie reduced drastically. He was talking to me more often and would send me pictures of what he looked like in the day.
3 days never went by without him reminding me that he wanted me.
"I gatchu", he would always say. Everyday.
This went on for 4 months.
By this time, he had become my rock; the one that I spoke to about everything, that told me what to do when I was confused, about school, family issues, and even Bestie issues. We had even begun sexting and discussing sex and how we 'liked it'.
In the fifth month, he called to tell me he was coming home for a week. That his Uncle died and he had to attend the funeral. 
I was ectastic!
Looney was coming home!
But in the evening when I was supposed to see him, things got complicated. Bestie  wanted to go home with me at that time but I couldn't let her.
I hadn't thought it through. What was I going to tell her?
"Errrm Babe, can you wait here for me? I left something in the room and I was supposed to give someone in the hostel this evening. Doesn't make sense if we both go together and I leave you alone in the room."
Gosh! I know how stupid that sounded but I needed to try at least.
She looked at me funny and said, "what are you up to you this girl? Say the truth."
"Isshhh. Ok ok ok. I want to see Tolu."
Tolu was the first guy I had sex with.
"You know, it's been a while."
She laughed so hard.
"Quickly go please. Why didn't you just tell me?"
I chuckled away and hurriedly walked towards my block.
Looney picked me up miles away, where Bestie couldn't see us.
We got to my room that night and we began to demonstrate all we had talked about in our raunchy text messages.
He liked to use toys, so he bought a pack of mini vibrators and cold lubes with a bottle of chocolate wine. 
The things we did in 15 minutes!
He was a fantastic kisser and had the longest dick I had ever seen.
He laid over me and put in his entire length and I felt pain, pleasure, joy and guilt at the same time.
How could something this good feel so wrong?
Minutes later, he dropped me off where he picked me up and kissed me intensely. I wasn't going to see him in another 7 months.
I walked towards Bestie with a serious face.
"Ashewo. See how she's glowing after doing rubbish", she laughed.
I smiled. The thought of what I just done flashed through my mind and stopped smiling.
The next day was when she asked who Looney was.

If I remember clearly, I was about 13, 14 when you first called me.
I was in JSS 3 and you were in your second year in university.

You had asked my girlfriend and classmate to give you one of her friends and because she told you I had the biggest boobs, I was your choice. Idiot.

Our 10-year age difference made you so appealing to me. You were mature and seemed to have a firm grip of everything in your life. When you didn’t, you would simply roll a blunt and say “man cannot kill himself”.

You were so cool and hot, even though I had no picture of you.
Luckily for me I had a Nokia phone back then so communication was easy.
Text messages and calls were all we had back then and the fad between opposites sexes was flirting and sexting.

You’re probably the reason I enjoy writing and reading literotica today.

I remember how after we passed the introduction stage, you asked that we play a game called imagine where we would conjure “sexy” scenes and let them play out in our heads….
“Right now, my fingers are rubbing on your clitoris and your moans are like wildfire…”


I’ll never forget how I learnt that word.
That was first time I heard it.

You taught me a lot of words – clitoris, fingering, cunninglingus, fellatio ...

I think it was you who taught me the difference between moaning and groaning… or may be I just checked the dictionary to see the difference because you said moaning so often.

How can I forget those times when you made me touch myself?
Those times taught me more about my body than all my biology classes put together.

You grew with me, shaped my mind about sex and men yet I never met you until my first year in the university.
Although you fizzled out for reasons I can’t remember when I was about 15, you still called to check on me often because I was your baby. You told me that and I know you meant it. I’m sure you meant it.
No doubt whatsoever.

I’ll never ever ever forget the first day I met you.
I was ecstatic!
You did well to play up your flaws by continually telling me you were short, dark and had a goatie that everyone had a problem with.

I loved the goatee. I had no problem with your height and your complexion too.
Still don’t.

Back to the first day we met… We sat in your battered Altima and talked about how nice it was to see each other for the first time.

That Altima ehn ... Memories.

After talking at length about how the school was treating me and what freedom felt like, I asked if you wanted to see my room.
You said yes.
I had chased out my roommates and I knew the possibilities were endless.
But one thing had to be done.
I had to kiss you.

I’ll never forget.

I’ll never forget how I switched off the lights to kiss you because I was so shy.
It was our first time and it had to be perfect.

Our first kiss was memorable. A lot of lower lip, not much tongue yet it was intense.
It was great!
We were about going further when my shithead roommate walked in.

That’s why you always remembered her name.

We went 2 years kissing, fondling, giving head and getting high but we just never had sex because you’re such a gentleman.

“Arrrrrrgggghhhhh… I can’t do this…. I don’t want to spoil you…”
But you had spoilt me already.

I wanted you so bad.
At that point in my life, I could have given you my whole life and asked for nothing in return.

You were everything.

The glue that kept my soul together.

My sanity.

The Man.

But you just couldn’t have sex with me… probably because I wasn’t 18 yet so you ran away… ran away for another 2 years.

I had to go through a lot of bullshit because other men were not half the gentleman that you are.
But thank heavens I quickly learnt that men would only take advantage of you if you let them so I used them before they used me.
*Flips hair*

I remember when we finally had sex…
It was the first time I came during penetration.
It had never happened.
It was so beautiful because we came together….

But then I ran away
Because I was growing older…
Because I lost my freedom…
Because everything was so serious…
Because I became aware of our religious differences…
Because I knew I could never have you and it killed me inside.

You’ve been extremely distant since the last time we saw last year.
You hardly pick my calls now, yet I noticed you like my Instagram photos.
You don’t follow me, yet you comment.

What kind of torment is that?

I’ve known you now for about 12 years and for all of that time, you’ve been the ideal man to me.

I don’t think I’ve ever said this… but I’m saying it now.

I’ll always love you.

Take Care.

Photo Credit
Stephan Kuhn
Sorry to disappoint you... this is not another sensual story.
It's the morning of my birthday and things aren't quite what they were (about) 2 years ago.
1.12 am and the only messages I've gotten are from GT Bank and First Bank. Well, Twitter was nice enough to put up balloons.
So much for being a birthday girl.
I guess all my friends are tired 'cause I didn't feel this deserted some years ago.
Too early to say yeah? 
The usual birthday programme went this way:
- The lover always called first; called to sing me a song, talk me through the early hours, pray for or with me... Basically, just be there. But as we don't have Bae in 2016, Jesus has taken the wheel. 
Oluwa gba ko so. (Lord take control).
- The main calls troop in between 6 am and 3 pm. Phone is everly ringing like a business centre in 2002. From uncles to unwanted suitors. Hopefully, they'll call us this year and 0956 will not block the call because mobile marketing.
Aside: First human birthday message just came in.
Moving on.
- Mummy and Daddy prayers. MFM mode activated.
Definitely need the prayers to revive everyone in the friend zone since 'friend' is now scarce. Maybe it's the economy.
- Then Jollof oh Jollof accompanied with Turkey and other delightful dishes! God bless my mother!

Gbogbo e gbogbo e (everything everything) balls down to how all of the excitement about things and days like birthdays tone down as you get older... Well, in my case. 
Awon runs girls mi L'Eko At'Abuja mo what's up (Runs girls in Lagos and Abuja don't have to go through this).
Anyhow anyhow... Happy birthday to me.
It was a Tuesday evening and I didn't want to go to the house. I couldn't exactly make up my mind why I was feeling this way - whether it was because it didn't feel like home or there had been no light for over three weeks and the heat was epic. Either ways, I needed a good excuse to stay longer hours at work that day. 
I had even contemplated watching a movie by myself but I'm one of those that believe cinemas are a waste of money if you're more than 10 in the room. Why should I pay N1500 to watch a movie and be interrupted by people who don't know the difference between a cinema room and UNILAG's main auditorium? 
Sorry to digress. 
I finally decided to go to the house and get a shawarma on my way. That would take a little more time. I was going to walk instead of taking a cab too. Hopefully, everyone would have slept by the time I got to the house.
I got to the Shawarma joint and settled in a plastic chair outside. As I was about to go through Instagram, Mr. Oga called. 
"How are you?"
"I'm good. You?"
"I'm good too." Then he paused and said, "you sound funny. Are you okay?"
I wasn't okay. I was bored and I needed to talk to someone, play, have fun but here I was in this rigid life. Mr. Oga and I had spoken about this some weeks ago and we planned to chill every evening since there was a N50 distance between our offices. Sadly, our paths never crossed in the evenings because one of us (obviously not me) was too busy.
"I'm fine." 
"Where are you?"
"I'm at my Shawarma guy's place."
"Should I come over?"
"If you want. It's your car."
"It's my car? What's the meaning of that?"
"Isn't it your car Bruv? Are you coming or..."
"Seen you."
I watched him as he parked his car and waited for me with his engine still on. He noticed how I dragged to get up and pay the Shawarma guy so he switched off his engine and came down from his car. Then he did something that totally melted all my apprehension.
He ran across the road with the most heartfelt smile, hugged me so tightly and carried me up at the same time. I'm so not a romantic person but there was something about that gesture that made the butterflies in my belly tickle.
"I missed you! Why are you so stubborn?", he said.
I muffled "I'm sorry" as I kept grinning like a drunk baby.
He took my bags without asking and held my hand as we crossed the road quickly. He dropped my bags on the back seat, slipped in the driver's seat and hugged me again. He felt so warm even with the AC on.
"Thank God I called. That's how you would have passed my office without me knowing."
"You're not serious. Aren't you the busy one?"
"Babe it's not like that now. I explained this to you..."
As he explained what was up at work, he tilted over my seat to recline the seat so I could rest my back properly. His face brushed my breast and one word flashed in my head.
I shook my head to drive the thought away but that was just the beginning. 
Then he asked, "should I take you home now?" Remembering the heat, I said no. So we parked in darkness some meters away from the house so we could chill and talk. 
"So what have you been up to?"
"Same old stuff jore", I replied.
Detecting that this chill time was starting to sound like another dead BBM conversation, I quickly added, "Have you listened to Rihanna's album?"at the same time typing in ANTI in my music library. I chose Consideration first.
He liked it. I could tell because he kept nodding and making hand gestures with his eyes closed like he was in some trance.
"Let's play truth or dare", he said suddenly.
I laughed. "Alright. You go first.
"Truth or dare?"
I chose truth. 
"Tell me your deepest secrets."
I laughed. "Sorry Bruh. That's too deep. Ask me something else". 
"Have you thought about having sex with me?"
"Yes." "Ok, my turn. Same question".
We asked each other some more stupid questions about the last time we had mind blowing sex and the reasons we broke up with our exes before admitting that the truth game was boring. So we opted for Dare.
Him: "I dare you to go in front of that car with the man in it and dance for him."
Me: "I dare you to walk up to that woman and talk to her like you know her."
Him: "I dare you to kiss my windscreen like you were kissing a guy."
Me: "I dare you to play with your nipples."
Him: "I dare you to suck my nipples."
Me: "Ok! I wasn't expecting that."
I had a problem with doing this for 2 reasons:
1. When it came to pleasuring, I had a policy that states that any thing worth doing is worth doing well, meaning he was going to like what I was going to do and it was going to complicate things for me as I was nurturing my celibacy pledge.
2. Mr. Oga was really dull, I mean in terms of elevated verbal and written communication. Honestly. You know these people that look so good and hot on the outside but once they open their mouths to start talking 'sense', you'll wonder who went wrong, parents or teachers.
While I was still contemplating on whether or not to get too deep into this game, Uncle had already began adjusting his shirt, carefully lifting it up for me to see his firm, toned abs covered with beautiful, hairless skin.
I couldn't help it. I chose body over communication. So I took his tiny shy nipples in my mouth and made him happy. How I knew? He kept moaning like a girl at the beginning of a head session.
Then he said the most awful thing... "Baby, you're delicious."
I stopped abruptly, sat back and said "ok. I think it's time I head home. They will soon lock my gate."
"Ah yes.", he said as he fixed his shirt. We talked about the light situation in Lagos till we got to the front of my gate. I came down, waved at him and walked into the house. That night, I slept off telling myself all men can't be perfect and my standards were too high.
Two weeks later I saw Mr. Oga again but this time it was at his office. When I teased about him not coming to pick me at work, he gave me a long explanation on how he had little fuel left thanks to the scarcity in Lagos and he didn't want to risk getting stuck in traffic.
It was some minutes to 10 pm and no one except the gatemen were around, hence there was no use going into his office. So we went to the back of the building where his car was parked and chose to lean on the car since we couldn't even switch on the AC.
Gradually, we moved closer to each other with excuses...
"Let's see how tall you are sef."
"Been a while I hugged you."
"I'm serious. I can carry you."
Then he said, "Babe, you're so soft."
I chuckled before I replied, "I know. I get that all the time." 
I was in love with this man's body. He was just the right height; every part of his body felt so firm and masculine. I just wanted to lick him. I kept hugging him, grinding my body on his...
"You know you have a really nice body right?"
He laughed, "thank you. I don't even get to work out again sef."
I really can't remember what we said after, I just know we started to kiss. 
On all levels, it was the best I had in years. It wasn't sloppy or obligatory. It was very mutual. It was the kind that involved the grabbing of bums and breasts; the type that causes you to want to dig your nails into a back. It was that great.
I stopped to catch my breath. 
"Why are you smiling like that?" He asked.
"Been a while." I chuckled.
"Give me your tongue." He said.
"I'm not so good with the tongue." I said.
"Just follow my lead." He said.
So I gave him my tongue, all of my tongue. I don't know how we got on his bonnet but we got on his bonnet. He turned me over and I could feel him reaching for Little Mr. Oga, so I quickly got up.
"I should go home now."
"When am I seeing you again? When are we doing this again?", he asked while he kept kissing me.
"I don't know. You know I'm celibate right?"
"Since when?"
"But I told you now. We've spoken about this before."
"I can't remember o. Why?"
"I think sex is a waste of time if there's nothing more than sex. We hit it then what? Plus I really wasn't getting it good so what's the point?"
"You'll like what I'll do to you. I'm not even joking."
"Isn't that obvious?"
"Seriously, when am I seeing you again?"
"You know if we keep doing this, I could like you very much and become possessive?"
Mr. Oga sighed.
"I like you too. The thing is I've been in so many bad relationships. I told you I proposed to someone last year?"
"Yes, you did. Let's talk about this on my way home."
"Oh true."
We got in his car and we headed to the house but we didn't talk.
"Call me when you get home."
"I will", he said with the most charming smile ever on his face.
He called that night to tell me he was home.
The next day I called to check on him but he didn't pick up. I called that weekend too and the same thing happened. So I stopped calling.
I changed my Whatsapp profile a week later then he sent a message saying I looked pretty. I said thanks and that was that.
Honestly, I was sad that I couldn't kiss him again but I was innately glad that I didn't have to hear "Baby, you are delicious" for a while.


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