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Showing posts from May, 2012

Frescoed Stories

Ok.
I accept.
I'm a liar.
But really, that isn't the approriate and befitting description for me.
I don't lie...Well,I just leave out a lot of "unnecesary" details.
You could call it whatever you wanna, but I insist it's an essential trait of a realist (just to say sharp gurl/guy, I went to school noni :p ).

Hey!
You have had 6 "bedmates" and you are confusd about the current one (Mr. Right Now No.7)... You need advice,so your girlfriend(s) is the first link to clear thinking. In the course of explaining your predicament, it dawns on you that your girlfriend has made out with just 3 guys and has had sex with 1 (Jeez- Life must be a Bitch, Eh?)... You can't talk about this issue without relating it to your other escapades...therefore, a dilemma presents itself. Since you can't stop the story abruptly,you'ld have to:

1. Tell the truth, recounting your 'many' stories. You'ld watch the shock rise from her upper face to the sides …

Memoirs of SkinTown

Recently I saw a tweet from a news account about how the wife of the governor of CrossRiver state complained bitterly about the number of people living with HIV/AIDS and it made me remember a few things.

Calabar is a beautiful town. If you've ever been to that part of the country, you'll understand what I'm talking about. Its also usually wet. It rains a whole freaking lot. Its peaceful, serene, calm, tranquil.....<insert other synonyms>. Unfortunately, that's not what I'm getting at.

It's also a crazy town. The people there (at least most of the ones I met) are amazingly horny and for some reason "skin-diving" is supposedly more manly.

My friends and I used to hangout at this bar every evening, have a few beers and joke around. Sometimes we were accompanied by girls which we usually have intentions to "cancel" *clears throat*. Now I had my eye on the waitress at the bar (there was only one waitress) and my buddy liked the owner of the…

Hell Hath No Fury...Blah Blah Blah

I just woke up.
I'm as cranky as an hungry old man.
Been having dis weird (really strange) transitions since I became lonely.
No Boyfriend, No Friend.
Life is Beautiful but I can't see it.
Well, not to be totalli pessimistic,I see it, but I'm just busy caring about necessary rubbish...things I don't need or better still, things I don't need right now.
I'm one of those people who allows the lil things toy with their emotions.
I cry and get mad at absolute crap.
Last thursday (not certain), I was making out with this really fine ass guy...ladies' facking man in err area (Oh! Excpt he yanns bullocks...plenri crap mayne) and all I could fink of was why he couldn't love me.
I rmba some years back, which could be considered the beginning of my drinking 'habit', when I drank too much and broke down in tears lamenting about ow cruelly life was treating me (my roommates were my first (original) test to reality and dammmmmnnnnnn!!! Twas bloody!! - a lil…

Good Pussy

So...
U feel really really stupid...
U just had sex and you're totally embarrased...
All you did was lie there and 'collect'...
But it wasn't ur fault (na)...
He wouldn't let u go acrobatic...
U wanted to flip the script and show him you weren't a boring lay but he didn't seem as excited as you were...
No...
He was excited....
Not just about you...
Well, at least about something you owned...
He called you 'Good pussy'...
It sounded complimenting when the heat was on...
But now...
Wait o....
Me, Good Pussy...
What does that even mean?
Shit!
He was talking about ur veejayjay!
God...I shoulda known...

What I missed
He never fussed about all the guys I hungout with...He said he wasn't jealous...He said he didn't show his feelings... He said he rli liked me...
And its been like this for a year... 'Good Pussy'...
Y do I feel so stupid about him callin me dat?...
Maybe my veejayjay is fecking smoking, tyt ...
(M.U.M.U)
*Dancing*...
But its b…